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In the dim undreaming dawn
I rolled over in my sleep
And put my arm on your warm solid back
Only slightly surprised to find you there
As though in a habit you couldn’t crack
And you shifted slightly as though unsure
Then settled solidly into the night
And I wondered why after all these years
You should still come back here before the light
Instead of staying the night with her
and then I woke up and wondered
Why after all these years
I would still dream your warm solid back
And not finding it, wake in tears

16 thoughts on “Ghost

  1. Okay. This hits very close to home. My husband and I will celebrate our 51st wedding anniversary on Sunday. Thankful for every day. On October 14, 2013, he suffered a 6 minute cardiac arrest. Not a heart attack. A cardiac arrest. 6 minutes. It took them two applications of “paddles” to “bring him back.” He was in CICU on life support, on a paralytic drug to keep him from shivering to protect his brain as he body temperature was lowered. He came home on October 19th, 100% cognitively intact. He is, quite literally, a walking miracle. I still send personal thank you notes to the doctors, two nurses, my daughter and son, his brother, every October 14th for their roles in tethering him to this earth. I was so very close to what you’re writing about here. Obviously, this is so well written that it struck a deep emotional chord with me. I pray this is not a personal recounting for you.

    • It is a true story. I write about it alot (check the divorce tag). I was married for almost 40 years, divorced now for nearly a decade (god can that be). He walked out 2 weeks after our 30th actual anniversary (we lived together for 9 years.) Out of the clear fucking blue. You don’t just get over that many decades of your life.

      I’m glad your husband is okay now, and wish much joy in your past and your future. Blessed Be.

  2. Beautifully woven piece here Alexandra – as others will attest to, I’m sure… A very good finish for me tonight as, spookily enough, it’s now bedtime, here in the UK…

  3. I just wonder about those dreams that feel so real, if they aren’t meeting you there in dreamland. I’ve had some pretty vivid ones and can’t help but feel this is what’s happening. There is so much we don’t know. That kind of love doesn’t just fade into nothingness.

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